The varnish, battered by the branches and caked with mud, only dimly shines through the thick jungle growth. The tubular frame at the front bends the trunks of young bamboos, and the trees defend themselves by beating into the grilles protecting the headlights. But suddenly the movement of the car stops and the wheels spin in vain in the mud. A tanned and mosquito-bitten man jumps out the door, slashes his way with a machete, and hooks a winch onto the nearest log to free the car from its sticky grip. Do you also see that scene so vividly?
When I was small, actually rather young (I was never short of height), a cigarette concern organized a kind of adventure competition called Trophy . I don't remember exactly what it was about, but the shots of Land Rover Discoverys tearing through the jungle stuck in my memory (which is also fueled by some advertising puzzles from my childhood). I wanted to participate, I wanted to be there, to experience the adventure. It reminded me of the first pioneering years of the Dakar , when the participants reached the bottom of their possibilities and did not chase every second like today.
I was driving recently and I saw one of the cars I love on the side of the road. Anyway, it's not an unusual situation, it happens to me twice a week (but I admit that I drive past that Civic Type-R almost on purpose), but this Defender just won me over. Khaki green version 110 , footboards on the sides, protective frame with light covers and winch, reserve on the hood and anti-slip sheets on the fenders, roof garden with canisters and a folding sleeping coffin. This is it! This is exactly the type of car I love and represents one of my dreams.
But precisely because I platonically adore the car, I must never commit the abomination of buying it. Don't you understand? It's simple – I live in a densely populated part of our country, full of roads, albeit bumpy, and which are regularly maintained in the winter. Except for the first day to be exact. But those 12 hours a year just don't make owning a great car. Or at least I don't have the heart to trouble the car on the roads. Now you might be thinking that I'm rambling and I don't want to bother myself with the discomfort. Maybe that's part of it, too. I experienced a few real "off-roaders", and the firefighter's Campo , for example, also left a deep mark on me (although it's a shame that they didn't let me turn on the beacon). But it's not glory on the road. However, this does not bother people who buy such a car because they need it. And that's the whole problem, I'm not one of them!
But I really want to! I would sometimes like to live in a cabin by the lake, with a single access dirt road, which would ideally lead over two fords. But I won't be moving. I've already gotten used to the twisty precincts, harder chassis and the constant peeking and testing of the driving techniques of the masters behind the wheel. I would probably miss it and who knows if I would soon get tired of some off-road madness.
However, I try not to miss the opportunity to ride with a real tough guy. And to be honest, I liked almost all the real trainers. I find the Pajero to be beautiful by the standards of the category, the Range Rover handled well and the Patrol went through incredible things. I even had the opportunity to try the self-proclaimed king of this category. I can't say that the Hummer H2 felt like the best car in the world, but it was a lot of fun on the motocross track. Although I felt like I was trying to drive a real car on the road in a model railroad, I had fun. The feeling of hanging by the belts while the car slides down a slope practically vertically, or a really big side roll in wet mud, but you're glad to be going straight anyway, those are really powerful experiences. And the skids in the corner with such a mastodon, it was impossible not to laugh from ear to ear. It and a couple of softened SUVs that passed through our household had to suffer some kind of adventurous blundering. And the mud on the roof really suited the Toyota RAV4 .
In short, such cars belong to the terrain. However, I don't want to belong there permanently, and that's why I'll stay with my objects of desire, the smaller kinks of the sporty cut. And it's a mystery to me what drives people in the center of Prague to buy these cars. Although there is a certain chance that everyone goes somewhere in Šumava to mountain huts in the middle of the slopes. I will not wrong them, I do not want to judge them. This is not my case, so I can only admire the versatility of machines of this category and sometimes envy their owners. And gnash your teeth at the nonsense of the marketing departments, which describes these cars or SUVs derived from them as suitable for heavy city traffic.
Photo: expeditionportal.com, truckertrend.com, off-road.com
